For the first time in my life I love my hair. I have lots of it. It’s wavy, gets frizzy, unruly, untamed and looks damaged very easily.
In my twenties I started highlighting my hair. I then went on to washing, blow drying and straightening it every single day when living in the UK for four years. I did it to fit in; long, straight, blonde, perfect hair every day. I didn’t like my hair back then. I tried so many things to make it behave. To try tame it. I was obsessed. But nothing worked. It all just damaged my hair even more.
Then three years ago about the same time I returned to South Africa I stopped all of that. I just couldn’t go through the morning ritual every day. It was exhausting. I was tired of obsessing about my hair. It was so damaged from highlights and daily heat – dry, brittle, unruly, no shine.
It was hard to not straighten or blow dry. For a few weeks I felt very self conscious. I felt insecure. But after a while I stopped obsessing about it. I felt freer. I could let my hair be. After a while I even stopped washing every day.
Three years later, my hair looks amazing. It is healthy, shiny and less frizzy. I have probably blow dried and straightened it twice over the last 3 years. I wash it every second or third day. I regularly use bicarb mixed in with my shampoo to clarify as product tends to build – up fairly quickly in my porous hair. I also often use apple cider vinegar as a final rinse to add shine and purify further. I don’t use any detangler or leave in conditioners. Occasionally I put jojoba or coconut oil in my hair just before I wash it.
So finally at the ago of 31 I have discovered how to manage my beautiful hair. And in my case less is definitely more! Now I am planning on washing it even less – pushing it to every 4 days and I want to start experimenting with sulphate-free shampoo.
So for every woman out there who is u unhappy with their hair – particularly those with lots of ‘frizzy, unruly’, curly locks’ – maybe it’s time to just let it be by trying the less is more approach.
It takes time and patience to heal your hair from so much processing, but is so worth it at the end when it finds it’s natural beautiful free state again.
For me, accepting my hair and stopping to make it fit in with some silly idea of beauty (sleek straight hair), has also been a very empowering process. It is an act of self love – sometHing I lacked for many many years, but am now discovering and working on daily.